It has been only 2.5 months since I left Singapore. Yet it seems like years have passed. I dont really miss home much and I have adjusted pretty well (or so it seems). Yet I still dont feel very much as ease here.
I cant accept what I cant change - and this bothers me. Alot.
Hmm, people are still so distant - so near yet so far. Usually, I enjoy being alone so I can sort myself out. It's just me to keep a distance with others yet I feel so lonely at times. Im really disappointed yet jaded and I try to be indifferent yet I cant help getting affected. What a contradiction.
I could be an oracle you know. I have foreseen so many events so many times that it no longer fazes me... much. I should have long been immune to people's susceptibility to change, but I have not. People have walked out of my life ever so often that Im getting amused. Is it me who needs to embrace change? Well I just take it that I am too obtuse to understand. Somehow Im more inclined towards believing the inherent evil side of human nature after numerous "chance" encounters.
Yet I still believe I know too many people too well. And I am too tired to know any other.
Im depressed. Im not afraid to admit it. Who wouldnt? Life itself is morbid and grim because everyday a part of us dies. Im fighting hard not to sink into it - sometimes, too much of melancholy can become an indulgence and you get addicted to wallowing in self-pity.
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