Few weeks ago, my teacher confiscated a spider, which had notoriously terrorised the class girls. She then left it in the care of my class prefect, Wah Kan Spider. Then one day, Wah Kan Spider announced to the class that the spider had escaped. When we pursued the matter, he then revealed that the spider had actually been missing for a few hours and tried to shrug off the responsiblity blaing the box in which the spider was kept in was physically flawed. Instead of showing any form or remorse, all he said was "So what? lost means lost lor. What to do? Sorry lor"
This caused a massive hunt for the spider for fear it might bite some of the students. The school's NPCC and NCC, both recently recognised by National Schools as World Class were put into action. After a long spider-hunt, this Wah Kan Spider still can call to attention the whole class and said that he had a revelation. "Either the Spider was still in the class, hiding in some holes within the walls or tables, or that it had gone out of the class." The whole class "ROARED with cheers" or so says the class-newsletter, Spider Times (ST), which Wah Kan Spider is the sole Editor. If you'd ask me, FEI HUA!
After a long few weeks, our neighbouring class's prefect leaked news that he had caught a spider. Wah Kan Spider had allegedly made several contacts with the neighbouring class prefect and only a week later that he revealed that the missing Spider has reportedly been caught in the next class.
In his latest newsletter, Wah Kan Spider said that "Spiders being spiders are abit hard to tell apart. So they required more than a week to verify the identity of the spider in question." The newsletter also reported that the catching of the spider is also credited to the "brilliant investigative work by Wah Kan Spider". Through his investigation findings, Wah Kan Spider added that "the spider had used his long agile legs as a floating device to swim along the drains linking between the 2 classes".
Wah Kan Spider now wants to reclaim the spider and the form teacher, who's favourite pet in class is incidentally Wah Kan Spider, is agreeing and singing the praises of Wah Kan Spider, who is also the Vice Head Prefect of the school.
KNS, this type of class prefect. If not because of your incompetence, would the spider had escaped?
[img]http://img413.imageshack.us/img413/9160/wahkanspidera.jpg[/img]
Wah Kan Spider's Yearbook Photo
Disclaimer: The characters in the above story are purely fictional. Any similarities between them and real individuals are purely coincidental.
Source: http://forums.hardwarezone.com.sg/showthread.php?t=2362062&page=5
============================
This has to be one of the most brilliant posts in a long time.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Meet-the-MP session gone wrong:
In what seems to be the latest developments, MP Lim Hwee Hua has broken silence on the matter:
“The thrown chair could have killed somebody”
Thursday, 7 May 2009, 2:01 pm | 1,052 views
There is a clear line between being frustrated or disappointed and being violent. The thrown chair could have killed somebody.
Mrs Lim Hwee Hua, in response to query on why she did not accept the handwritten letter of apology from the 17-year old boy who threw a chair against a window at an MPS. (Straits Times, 7 May)
Im puzzled, so did the teenager throw the chair or slam the chair? Was it a door or the window? Or do our MPs have cognitive associative disorder? I agree Ms Lim, but can you please decide what to charge him with? Attempted murder or treason? Is it that hard to distinguish between these? Please make up your mind.
The case: A 17 year-old teenager has been reported to the police for possible intimidation/act of violence against a public servant. The clean-shaven teenager went with his mother to a meet-the-MP session to seek financial aid. The teenager has allegedly slammed a chair against a glass door when they were questioned by Ms Cynthia Phua (standing in for Mrs Lim Hwee Hua, MP of Aljunied GRC who was err, supposed to be overseas). Further Reading >>>
The family has apparently been on public assistance for quite some time. The mother claimed that she injured her wrist while working as a cleaner. The boy apparently suffers from thalassemia.
“The thrown chair could have killed somebody”
Thursday, 7 May 2009, 2:01 pm | 1,052 views
There is a clear line between being frustrated or disappointed and being violent. The thrown chair could have killed somebody.
Mrs Lim Hwee Hua, in response to query on why she did not accept the handwritten letter of apology from the 17-year old boy who threw a chair against a window at an MPS. (Straits Times, 7 May)
Im puzzled, so did the teenager throw the chair or slam the chair? Was it a door or the window? Or do our MPs have cognitive associative disorder? I agree Ms Lim, but can you please decide what to charge him with? Attempted murder or treason? Is it that hard to distinguish between these? Please make up your mind.
The case: A 17 year-old teenager has been reported to the police for possible intimidation/act of violence against a public servant. The clean-shaven teenager went with his mother to a meet-the-MP session to seek financial aid. The teenager has allegedly slammed a chair against a glass door when they were questioned by Ms Cynthia Phua (standing in for Mrs Lim Hwee Hua, MP of Aljunied GRC who was err, supposed to be overseas). Further Reading >>>
The family has apparently been on public assistance for quite some time. The mother claimed that she injured her wrist while working as a cleaner. The boy apparently suffers from thalassemia.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Dunkin' Donuts to re-open in Singapore
A long time ago, donuts were a common sight in Singapore. There were outlets in shopping centres like Far East Plaza, Marine Parade and Plaza Singapura (the old one with yaohan). These deepfried rings of dough with jam filings or frosty icing never caught on with Singaporeans and most of such specialty stores have since left our shores.
Fast forward to late 2006 - an era when the average joe and jane are health nuts (well, at least compared to the 60s?). The new age when health products are a staple in almost every homes and TV's health evangelists preaching everyday about body-wellness - you would expect this to spell doom for junk-food businesses. But no, when Donut Factory opened its first outlet, all hell broke loose.
Despite having foreseen young Singaporeans' immense interest in the pastry (there were actually multiple enquiries and pleas to Donut Giants like Krispy Kreme, Dunkin' Donuts and many ardent fans flooded Singapore forums like HWZ with multiple threads), few companies batted an eyelid about re-opening stores in Singapore as the market was deemed too small. Re-igniting young Singaporeans' with donut culture proved to be worthwhile for Donut Factory as queues snaked from morning till night outside these donut patisserie hoping to bring home dozens of sinful delights. Donuts and coffee was a simple recipe for success. Needless to say, the boss laughed all the way to the bank while kids and adults alike chomped on calorie-laden cheap treats.
After a damn long while, it seems that Dunkin' Donuts have picked up some signsl from god-knows-where that popularity for donuts has soared in this little red dot of a country. I do not concur though, since the craze has seemingly died down with so many Donut Factory-s and J.Co Donuts. Sometimes I really cannot fathom some of those in business. Didnt the bubble tea prove enough as a lesson? At times of economic uncertainty, people might take comfort indulging in donuts. Though, I expect this to be short-lived.
Welcome back, Mas Selamat!
Rejoice, Singaporeans! For you can finally sleep safe at night (amidst the economic crashes) After a long "hiatus", our most feared terrorist-Houdini has finally decided to return home from his vacation. Mas Selamat Kastari has been caught in (where-else?) Malaysia
Mas Selamat Kastari
"Mas Selamat bin Kastari (born 23 January 1961), an Indonesian-born Singaporean, is Singapore's most-wanted fugitive who escaped from detention on 27 February 2008. The search for him has been described as the largest manhunt ever launched in Singapore.[2] Mas Selamat is also the subject of a "seeking information" alert[3] from the American FBI. He had previously escaped custody twice in Indonesia. He was allegedly the head of the Singapore branch of militant group Jemaah Islamiah (JI).
Singapore authorities have alleged that he planned to crash seven bomb-filled trucks at various locations around the city-state.[4] In January 2006, Mas Selamat was arrested by Indonesian anti-terror squads in Java and deported to Singapore. He was suspected of plotting to bomb Singapore Changi Airport in 2002,[5] and, according to the Singapore Police Force, he had initially planned to do so by crashing a plane into the airport.[4] However, Mas Selamat has never been formally charged with any terrorism-related offences[1]; instead, he was detained under the country's Internal Security Act, which allows indefinite detention without trial.
On 8 May 2009, Singapore's Channel NewsAsia reported a possible arrest of Mas Selamat by Malaysian authorities."
Here is the link from Channelnewsasia
Bet everyone is curious what he has been doing for more than a year. Was the limping terror peng-kanging satay by the roadside before he was caught?
Either way, guess someone wouldnt be too happy about not having anymore toilet breaks.
Mas Selamat Kastari
"Mas Selamat bin Kastari (born 23 January 1961), an Indonesian-born Singaporean, is Singapore's most-wanted fugitive who escaped from detention on 27 February 2008. The search for him has been described as the largest manhunt ever launched in Singapore.[2] Mas Selamat is also the subject of a "seeking information" alert[3] from the American FBI. He had previously escaped custody twice in Indonesia. He was allegedly the head of the Singapore branch of militant group Jemaah Islamiah (JI).
Singapore authorities have alleged that he planned to crash seven bomb-filled trucks at various locations around the city-state.[4] In January 2006, Mas Selamat was arrested by Indonesian anti-terror squads in Java and deported to Singapore. He was suspected of plotting to bomb Singapore Changi Airport in 2002,[5] and, according to the Singapore Police Force, he had initially planned to do so by crashing a plane into the airport.[4] However, Mas Selamat has never been formally charged with any terrorism-related offences[1]; instead, he was detained under the country's Internal Security Act, which allows indefinite detention without trial.
On 8 May 2009, Singapore's Channel NewsAsia reported a possible arrest of Mas Selamat by Malaysian authorities."
Here is the link from Channelnewsasia
Bet everyone is curious what he has been doing for more than a year. Was the limping terror peng-kanging satay by the roadside before he was caught?
Either way, guess someone wouldnt be too happy about not having anymore toilet breaks.
Being AWARE of prophets
Some Netizens might remember a recent not-so-glamorous event which happened in Singapore. While most would be concerned with terrorism, economic crisis-es, a defiant Kim Jong Il and the swine flu, the seemingly affluent decides to find issues with organizations "condoning and encouraging lesbianism". There was a blood-less coup (I actually LOL-ed) at a Women's Association. What transpired was a complete mockery of non-profit organizations in Singapore(not that NKF and Ren-ci wasnt quite enough).
A public conference was held to answer questions, which instead turned up more questions. The episode became a grieve-pouring session with accusations of death threats, victimization and (later) religious agendas which we never knew bra-burning activists were capable of. Trust me, no mediacorp drama would come close to absurdity and entertainment value(well, actually after Little Nonya, Im not quite sure).
Excerpt from Today in Singapore:
"The coup at Dover Crescent centre, where the Association of Women for Action and Research (AWARE) held its annual general meeting on March 28, was flawlessly executed with military precision. Instead of the usual turnout of 30 or 40, a record 102 showed up, 80 of which were new members who had just joined between January and March. Out numbered and out gunned, the old guard was unceremonioulsy chucked out, including the vice president veteran of 15 years who was ignominiously defeated by newbie Charlotte Wong Hock Soon.
Former President Dana Lam said it was hard not to imagine the takeover was not a planned effort: “It could not be a pure coincidence.”
Older members tried to ask if the newcomers shared AWARE’s vision and values, including equality for all regardless of race, religion or sexuality. Mimicking the stonewalling tactics of Mindef (Allan Ooi’s unfortunate demise) and NTU (David Widjaja’s disputed termination), the newcomers flatly refused to elaborate on their plans for AWARE. The only clue came from newcomer Angela Thiang, who told the floor that questions about the new office bearers’ religion and their stand on homosexuality were not relevant."
If the ex-new-exco of AWARE (pardon the pun) decides to "usurp" the throne and throw out the old guards, dont act like some hapless kitten when the "old guards" retaliate - afterall, you wouldnt expect yourself to "sit down and shut up" after being overthrown, would you, Ms Josie Lau and "The Mentor" (i cant help but shudder in fear at the mere mention of this word"?
"The Mentor" is an ex law dean (the first female law dean, mind you), mother of an Nominated Member of Parliament (elected in 2007) in Singapore. Singaporeans, being an unappreciative and blasphemous lot, has no idea that Thio Su Mien saved Singapore from Earthquake/Tsunami
"Last February, a USSPN Washington Regional Coordinator was present during a report given by an international lawyer from Singapore, Thio Su Mien (Su), who is gifted in prophetic intercession and healing. She shared about some of the things going on in the area of Indonesia before the tsunami.
She explained how the SARS virus hit Singapore a year prior to the earthquake/tsunami. The Lord alerted the intercessors and told them that if they did not get on their faces and repent on behalf of their nation’s involvement in abortion as the contraceptive of choice, that the land would suffer from His hand of judgment.
Because they saw how devastating the SARS virus had been, the intercessors immediately took action to seek His mercy and forgiveness. Singapore was not touched by the earthquake disaster. The Malaysian intercessors joined them in diligent prayer and also opened healing rooms in Kuala Lampur. The area on the Northern Coast of Malaysia was hit hard. There are amazing stories of God’s grace and mercy in saving souls and lives there.
It was the prayers of the intercessors that had saved the disaster from affecting an even larger area. She emphasized that the intercessors crying out with repentance and asking for mercy, along with declarations of the Word of God over the land (both written and rhema), released the curse upon the land and the people were spared. It was a plea for intercessors to step up to the plate and continue to press into God for mercy from judgment coming."
Emperor (in)Sid would approve, afterall, he vowed to rise from his grave if things go wrong.
Perhaps a more convenient excuse would be that they were just trying to boost the declining birth rate, at least I think that would appease everyone more after spending some $90,000 of public funds within weeks of internal structuring.
A public conference was held to answer questions, which instead turned up more questions. The episode became a grieve-pouring session with accusations of death threats, victimization and (later) religious agendas which we never knew bra-burning activists were capable of. Trust me, no mediacorp drama would come close to absurdity and entertainment value(well, actually after Little Nonya, Im not quite sure).
Excerpt from Today in Singapore:
"The coup at Dover Crescent centre, where the Association of Women for Action and Research (AWARE) held its annual general meeting on March 28, was flawlessly executed with military precision. Instead of the usual turnout of 30 or 40, a record 102 showed up, 80 of which were new members who had just joined between January and March. Out numbered and out gunned, the old guard was unceremonioulsy chucked out, including the vice president veteran of 15 years who was ignominiously defeated by newbie Charlotte Wong Hock Soon.
Former President Dana Lam said it was hard not to imagine the takeover was not a planned effort: “It could not be a pure coincidence.”
Older members tried to ask if the newcomers shared AWARE’s vision and values, including equality for all regardless of race, religion or sexuality. Mimicking the stonewalling tactics of Mindef (Allan Ooi’s unfortunate demise) and NTU (David Widjaja’s disputed termination), the newcomers flatly refused to elaborate on their plans for AWARE. The only clue came from newcomer Angela Thiang, who told the floor that questions about the new office bearers’ religion and their stand on homosexuality were not relevant."
If the ex-new-exco of AWARE (pardon the pun) decides to "usurp" the throne and throw out the old guards, dont act like some hapless kitten when the "old guards" retaliate - afterall, you wouldnt expect yourself to "sit down and shut up" after being overthrown, would you, Ms Josie Lau and "The Mentor" (i cant help but shudder in fear at the mere mention of this word"?
"The Mentor" is an ex law dean (the first female law dean, mind you), mother of an Nominated Member of Parliament (elected in 2007) in Singapore. Singaporeans, being an unappreciative and blasphemous lot, has no idea that Thio Su Mien saved Singapore from Earthquake/Tsunami
"Last February, a USSPN Washington Regional Coordinator was present during a report given by an international lawyer from Singapore, Thio Su Mien (Su), who is gifted in prophetic intercession and healing. She shared about some of the things going on in the area of Indonesia before the tsunami.
She explained how the SARS virus hit Singapore a year prior to the earthquake/tsunami. The Lord alerted the intercessors and told them that if they did not get on their faces and repent on behalf of their nation’s involvement in abortion as the contraceptive of choice, that the land would suffer from His hand of judgment.
Because they saw how devastating the SARS virus had been, the intercessors immediately took action to seek His mercy and forgiveness. Singapore was not touched by the earthquake disaster. The Malaysian intercessors joined them in diligent prayer and also opened healing rooms in Kuala Lampur. The area on the Northern Coast of Malaysia was hit hard. There are amazing stories of God’s grace and mercy in saving souls and lives there.
It was the prayers of the intercessors that had saved the disaster from affecting an even larger area. She emphasized that the intercessors crying out with repentance and asking for mercy, along with declarations of the Word of God over the land (both written and rhema), released the curse upon the land and the people were spared. It was a plea for intercessors to step up to the plate and continue to press into God for mercy from judgment coming."
Emperor (in)Sid would approve, afterall, he vowed to rise from his grave if things go wrong.
Perhaps a more convenient excuse would be that they were just trying to boost the declining birth rate, at least I think that would appease everyone more after spending some $90,000 of public funds within weeks of internal structuring.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Uniquely Singapore
I suddenly felt the need to blog this today.
"Are Singaporeans too afraid to speak up?" I certainly feel this way - with prolific and/or controversial bloggers hauled up to court for what they've written online.
Yes, some things are not to be tolerated - e.g. racial slurs, discriminations against religions/race, unfounded allegations/defamatory comments.
The key word here is "responsibility". How anyone interprets this word is another matter altogether. Apparently, the Singaporean leaders seem to be urging us commoners to voice our opinions. Constructive criticisms they say, be critical yet not overboard. We will listen (or be selective?) This is a contradiction in itself, how can one choose the nicest words to put forth if he/she feels resent and anger? We dont see Lee Bee Wah (Singapore Table Tennis Association President) putting on her best, friendliest front during the Olympic saga. In fact, this is probably the only example that I even dare to briefly mention in my post.
I dont want to be a circus monkey, and I dont feel encouraged by the rat poison put on a silver platter. Neither do I wish to be exemplified and immortalised in the parliament. I just wish to be taught how to lash out without being consumed by anger, a trait which I have failed to see in many of our leaders. Perhaps they should send all Singaporeans for anger management courses.
"People should not be afraid of their governments" Hmm?
/out
"Are Singaporeans too afraid to speak up?" I certainly feel this way - with prolific and/or controversial bloggers hauled up to court for what they've written online.
Yes, some things are not to be tolerated - e.g. racial slurs, discriminations against religions/race, unfounded allegations/defamatory comments.
The key word here is "responsibility". How anyone interprets this word is another matter altogether. Apparently, the Singaporean leaders seem to be urging us commoners to voice our opinions. Constructive criticisms they say, be critical yet not overboard. We will listen (or be selective?) This is a contradiction in itself, how can one choose the nicest words to put forth if he/she feels resent and anger? We dont see Lee Bee Wah (Singapore Table Tennis Association President) putting on her best, friendliest front during the Olympic saga. In fact, this is probably the only example that I even dare to briefly mention in my post.
I dont want to be a circus monkey, and I dont feel encouraged by the rat poison put on a silver platter. Neither do I wish to be exemplified and immortalised in the parliament. I just wish to be taught how to lash out without being consumed by anger, a trait which I have failed to see in many of our leaders. Perhaps they should send all Singaporeans for anger management courses.
"People should not be afraid of their governments" Hmm?
/out
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Yet another senseless drivel
It has been only 2.5 months since I left Singapore. Yet it seems like years have passed. I dont really miss home much and I have adjusted pretty well (or so it seems). Yet I still dont feel very much as ease here.
I cant accept what I cant change - and this bothers me. Alot.
Hmm, people are still so distant - so near yet so far. Usually, I enjoy being alone so I can sort myself out. It's just me to keep a distance with others yet I feel so lonely at times. Im really disappointed yet jaded and I try to be indifferent yet I cant help getting affected. What a contradiction.
I could be an oracle you know. I have foreseen so many events so many times that it no longer fazes me... much. I should have long been immune to people's susceptibility to change, but I have not. People have walked out of my life ever so often that Im getting amused. Is it me who needs to embrace change? Well I just take it that I am too obtuse to understand. Somehow Im more inclined towards believing the inherent evil side of human nature after numerous "chance" encounters.
Yet I still believe I know too many people too well. And I am too tired to know any other.
Im depressed. Im not afraid to admit it. Who wouldnt? Life itself is morbid and grim because everyday a part of us dies. Im fighting hard not to sink into it - sometimes, too much of melancholy can become an indulgence and you get addicted to wallowing in self-pity.
I cant accept what I cant change - and this bothers me. Alot.
Hmm, people are still so distant - so near yet so far. Usually, I enjoy being alone so I can sort myself out. It's just me to keep a distance with others yet I feel so lonely at times. Im really disappointed yet jaded and I try to be indifferent yet I cant help getting affected. What a contradiction.
I could be an oracle you know. I have foreseen so many events so many times that it no longer fazes me... much. I should have long been immune to people's susceptibility to change, but I have not. People have walked out of my life ever so often that Im getting amused. Is it me who needs to embrace change? Well I just take it that I am too obtuse to understand. Somehow Im more inclined towards believing the inherent evil side of human nature after numerous "chance" encounters.
Yet I still believe I know too many people too well. And I am too tired to know any other.
Im depressed. Im not afraid to admit it. Who wouldnt? Life itself is morbid and grim because everyday a part of us dies. Im fighting hard not to sink into it - sometimes, too much of melancholy can become an indulgence and you get addicted to wallowing in self-pity.
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